Friday, 12 February 2016

Survival Guide

As I have noted here, several times, we are uncharted territory.  So I thought that this primer might serve as a helpful reminder of how to cope until things improve.  Feel free to add to the list, and send along your thoughts for all the share.

  1. Hire people who will work for minimum wage.  After all, in these times no one expects superior service, value for money, or a pleasant disposition from the people who represent you.  Why pay more when it does not really matter?
  2. Hold off on any investments that will make people more productive.  Keep old computers, cell phones and internal systems.  No one is spending money these days so it would be a waste of resources to make it easy to deal with you.
  3. Refrain from using any social media.  Facebook is a fad; the internet is insecure; and all the other options are only being used by kids in high school...and that is not your target market.  Until they come up with something better than a fax machine, trust word of mouth to promote your business.
  4. Lower your prices.  Being the cheapest has always been a tried and true marketing approach. Look at Apple.  Their cell phones and computers cost way more than competitors and where has that got them?
  5. When you sell at a lower cost you can justify lowering your quality too.  So see how you can cut corners.  Should people not get what they pay for.
  6. Rule by fear; its a proven motivational approach.  And it will ensure that no one troubles you with recommendations for improvements that you will ignore anyway.
  7. Resist external advice.  What the hell does anybody else know about how to run a business. Besides, most of that advice will cost you something and why pay for another opinion.  You already have lots of opinions of your own!
  8. Wait it out.  Things will eventually return to normal.  The last decade or so has simply been an aberration (look it up).  Then let the good times roll again.
  9. If things really get tough, the government will know what to do.  You can count on a bail out because they are simply flush with cash and they are in the rescue business.
  10. When all else fails, cheat.  You have a second lifetime to rebuild your reputation.
So there you have it.  This is by no means a comprehensive list but it will give that jump start you have been looking for.  Oh, I forgot, you already knew all these things.  You are just glad to have to have someone else confirm it for you...

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